The Ab Queen

Wow blog counter reads 104 and I wonder who has been following my blog. I'm guilty of following a couple of minahs' blogs and laughing at them.

I think my knee problem has got to do with my sudden weight gain, due to the high dosage of anti depressants and tranquilisers and sleeping pills I've been on. And I can't stop eating and gained far too much weight too fast that my knee buckled and gave way. I'm like, so fat now! Even my boobs are getting a little big bigger and I don't like it! I wana be stick thin like Kate Moss - I love the heroin chic look. I'm feeling a bit Tyra Banks now, I want both my butt, thighs and boobs to be smaller so I don't look skanky when I wear my clothes.

So yesterday I did 3 sets with this Ab King thing my Mom bought from TV innovations or sumting. My stomach muscles ached like mad! I hope it's working. I'm gonna do that everyday from now on. Then I will get to cycling and then full on sports.

Many may not think that I am a sporty person because of the way i look, but I really am. hehe. I enjoy football and a lil bit of sailing and fencing and tae kwon do and love to try out new stuff but I hate the run-to-train part, and walking long distances and climbing stairs... not my thing. When I get better I wanna learn to skate and to go off road riding again! I wana graduate to using a full sized KTM soon. I wana wakeboard too!

And that will be in 3 months time. Bah!!!

And a lil bit of digression here:

I got a little scolding from the bf last nyt. Many people would not noe this but I'm plagued with insecurities, much to the point that it destroys relationships and myself.

I'm so insecure cuz he used to be a mat motor. lame (on my part) ryt?

It's chronic, it comes and it goes and it's making me sick. And the sick part is that I'm the one playing (no I don't do sleeping) around behind his back when he's been so good to me. And he still takes me back, for the millionth time. We've been going on for 2yrs and 8 months now, and I have, a few months back, vowed to stop my nonsense.

It's all good now, just hoping that the feeling won't ever come back. I was frantically looking for my Xanax but they were nowhere. I hope Mommy didnt throw those things away cuz the last time I saw it, it was strewn all over my bedroom floor. Like, when I'm lying down on the floor I can just pop one. Yeah, I can be neurotic like that.

I guess I need to get back to work asap.