Compassion, where art thou?

All heartbroken, confused and disappointed, a huge chunk of my heart went out the window back in 2006.

A large part of me died, and sadly, it still hasn't come back to life 3 years later. I tried to resurrect it, but all my efforts have been futile.

I am talking about compassion, for mankind and other living things. I am talking about this because after 3 Ramadhans and eid, I haven't been anything but selfish and downright mean.

I remembered being ever so compassionate, I had this extreme surge of love for whatever that is living - whatever God has created. I would get teary eyed looking at beggars, fishing out my last dollar for the extreme one I see that day. My heart would thump heavily when I see trees and plants being cut down to make way for concrete. I would cry if I can't find any ways to feed a sickly, skinny stray cat or dog immediately, I would wanna stay with them to give them warmth, to make sure that they stay there while I call someone else to get some pet food. I'd bawl if I see a dead animal, with its innards pouring out, on the road.

Til now, I couldn't care less. When I observe the things above happening around me, I don't feel anything at all. I don't feel the need to rescue or to help.

I am, however, saddened with the fact that my compassion is gone.

C, please come back.

The Dirty Rats are about to be Pesterminate-d

Job Hunt updates:
I got a job as a personal assistant. That means I'll be travelling everywhere if accept the offer, and the first is to Tokyo nxt month.

I will leave my current job if it pays $2.8k at least.

I'm still counting on Men's Folio to respond to my application. PLS PLS PLS PLS PLS. Fashion styling is my dream, my passion. Let me have that job.

Others:
The bloody rats should run for their lives when they see me now. Lu binatang sua bikin gua tiong ah kan. Baik lari mcm semalam.

The New Love

I'm not sure if it's the age or songs nowadays are just too much at times. Old songs have that minimalist quality - simple and effective. I can't deny that certain oldie songs can be quite cheesy, but then again, sometimes cheesy songs can seem so blunt and straightforward that you are confident you know what it means... when it actually means something else.

Here's my new love, Chris Isaak.

An Inspiration

I love the way they dress, especially the one with the tambourines. I bought a grey tube jumpsuit yesterday, and I'm so inspired to wear it to work on thursday, which is nearly impossible of course. haha! just a thought. paired it with a blazer, but they don't match, and a blazer's too hot for my work environment anyways. Boo!

If words don't work, let the fist converse instead.

Gawd it's been a really long time since my last update. I have been extremely busy working hard, and playing hard. It's about a month now, and a lot has happened.

Some characters have not been happy with me and whatever I have been doing on fb, so we had a small confrontation with our boyfies (bfs were really unnecessary) involved. Honestly it all started because of some comments on correcting someone's english and posts I made as well as certain entries in this blog (which was meant for someone else/ the general public). But anyhoos, all I really have to say is that (direct translation from my mother tongue) 'the one who eats chilli will taste its spice'. So you have a choice not to eat it ryt?

Here's a geist:




(Click on images for a clearer view)


I had wanted it to end peacefully, but with what that has been going on now, it did not. I have been keeping real quiet, except for some random wall posts here and there on fb about what I think. And what I think is usually influenced by what I am constantly involved in i.e. work (if you still don't have a clue).

The reason why I've been ignoring all this, is because I don't entertain lies. It is just too dumb to be doing anything about it because I have every reason to believe they are not being honest on their part. I know of something recently (related to this event, probably the deeper happening), and I want to hear it from their mouths without having me to ever mention names or sources.

And I admit my cousin has been adding comments but I don't see why they have to be offended. (And I don't think she SMSed her or her boy to STOP IT. and to behave like adults ( = stop being childish). well who is? and she did it again recently (whilst I have been quiet). I really wish I could find her in person and tell her to shut her desperate trap and stop seeking attention from her ex (who is getting engaged to my cousin soon) by doing this. IF she does this again I might turn aggressive! So irritating! So ew!

(Irritating per, da la matair kau masuk campur, cousin kau pun nk masuk campur jugak? Incapable of speaking for urself? And for the cousin - takmo bobal ngn aku in the 1st place pasal takut aku spot kau pey belit (altar keling)? WTF sia!!!)

Okay, stupid people making me sick, I shall talk about better things.

When half the kids went to KL, we had the best pit ever. Apart from great company, we had lots prawns and chicken and LOBSTERS! and my favourite drink...

So they surprised me with a birthday cake (I really didn't see it, bf said it was obvious S was carrying it) and that served as dessert for the day. It was so sweet of them, even tho my b'day was 2 weeks away. It was a calm and cool nyt, everyone was contented and happy, and we took absolutely awesome pics with Z's new lens.

And I worked and I worked... and the fasting month came, and in came boyfie with yet another surprise for my b'day, a gift which was given on the actual day. I wondered, what else would he want to get me apart from the wii?

And we went to Parkway, to get.... a diamond ring!!!! It is really beautiful, set in white and rose gold. A solitaire diamond surrounded by 18 smaller ones. The design reminds me of a ring by Cartier, or was it Bvlgari?

This is the craziest year, I'm really grateful my boyfie decided to spend so much money on me. hehe!

I even spent so much on myself! I bought myself a DSLR, and lotsa clothes.

Then there was that dinner. The red carpet event. I was dressed to the nines, I tell you. But it made me feel a lil OTT cuz the others there were not fashionably sensitive. I even see polo tees around! Not only worn by men, but by women! Gosh! I wish I can lend them some help in styling. But then again, let's not poke my nose in case they take offence in my offer. Let them look ugly. harhahr.

No surprise I was selected as one of the best dressed and had to strut my stuff on stage. Highly embarassing! So I shall not divulge any further details of that incident.

I am so feeling Coco now, after catching Coco Before Chanel by Anne Fontaine, played by gloriously eccentric Audrey Tautou. I feel in-character, I shall remain the way I am by being blunt and straighforward with my opinions and not fake. I shall not be afraid to be aggressive. Just like Coco.


And lastly to A and S, you should seriously get out of my way and sight IF you see me, before I see you.