I wish quitting is just as easy as shoving up the resignation up their asses.
The new term has started, and I am still away from school. I have another week left, and I’m wishing for another extension cuz I really can’t be bothered anymore. I’m in a place where everyone just simply irritates the hell out of me with their selfishness and stupidity.
This is the period where getting back to work is as hard and painful as knowing that you are a hostage and you know you are gona be tied to the back of a truck and being pulled with your ass on the road.
At 180kmh.
I feel so sick about work that the feeling of doing something crazy about it is pumping through my head. Ahhh I wish I am rich enough to be able to do the ‘crazy things’ like last time. Stupid bond.
Stupid white power.
Party updates: the theme has now been changed to rock star instead of mafia. Whatever the theme may be, there are pros and cons. So I shall let that matter rest. Once we secure the location, everything should fall into place nicely. Then the food can be ordered, the invites could be out.
And I have to scrap the veiled hat and Chanel stockings idea. I’ll go with the Balmain look: acid washed ripped jeans, killer heels, glittery top and blazer. OR something to go with my brown leather bomber.
After a sickeningly long time of being immobile, I finally got to shop for a bit. At last Sunday’s flea market I got myself a minidress where I plan to add lots of pyramid studs on the waist.
And an adorable bracelet chock full and heavy with rock and roll charms from Mango which I had Mommy add some chains so that I can wear it as a necklace too.
Bah. Need xanax. Til later.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Cosa Nostra no-no
It’s been long since I last wrote here, there’s suddenly so many things to do! I’m definitely procrastinating on the important stuff (like work) and have been devoting most of my time to party planning (I love location recce) and sourcing for caterers and the works. I’m really hoping I get the yacht at a special rate. Boat party anyone?
And I just received a text from PIPI saying that the mafia theme is preferred. It’s kinda troublesome… if we were to hold the bash at a resort, 1. Guests would prolly not stick to the theme and wear beachwear instead, 2. It’s hot and humid at the resort so we would end up with sweaty oily faces in photos 3. Guests would choose not to come cuz they can’t be bothered with such theme parties (i.e. no clothes, no transport etc)
But still, I went around in the web looking for accessories to add on to a dress I already have which might scream mafia. I cannot deny that I would want to dress up to the theme – all I need now is 2 tone Chanel stockings
(oooooooh) or lace ones with garter (n lace teddy I hope hehe) and a hat with net covering my face. I got my inspiration here:
I liked some mafia costumes on ebay but the bf screams ‘prostitute’ and no less. Easy for him, he’s got loads of coats and suits he can use. And shoes. And fedora. All he needs is a pair of nice fitting pants. And a cigar to top it off. Boo!
So now I’m deliberating (yeah it is a serious issue to me) other easier themes where guests can, at the same time, be innovative. Any ideas?
Work’s been bugging me and I refuse to correspond. Take that!
And I just received a text from PIPI saying that the mafia theme is preferred. It’s kinda troublesome… if we were to hold the bash at a resort, 1. Guests would prolly not stick to the theme and wear beachwear instead, 2. It’s hot and humid at the resort so we would end up with sweaty oily faces in photos 3. Guests would choose not to come cuz they can’t be bothered with such theme parties (i.e. no clothes, no transport etc)
But still, I went around in the web looking for accessories to add on to a dress I already have which might scream mafia. I cannot deny that I would want to dress up to the theme – all I need now is 2 tone Chanel stockings
(oooooooh) or lace ones with garter (n lace teddy I hope hehe) and a hat with net covering my face. I got my inspiration here:
I liked some mafia costumes on ebay but the bf screams ‘prostitute’ and no less. Easy for him, he’s got loads of coats and suits he can use. And shoes. And fedora. All he needs is a pair of nice fitting pants. And a cigar to top it off. Boo!
So now I’m deliberating (yeah it is a serious issue to me) other easier themes where guests can, at the same time, be innovative. Any ideas?
Work’s been bugging me and I refuse to correspond. Take that!
Thursday, June 11, 2009
The past mattered because it made me who I am today.
I have about 2 months til I turn 24. And because it is June, I will always go through what I have achieved and reminisce where I came from.
I am def not proud of my past but constantly reminding myself of what happened and who I was keeps me from doing further harm to myself and those around me who I deeply love.
This brings me back to my teenage years, which I dearly missed. It was when dangerous experiments were conducted and when everything that was new and exciting belonged on illegal grounds. There is def too much to mention here, so I will generalize everything. At least, on my own, when I read through this entry I could probably remember what EXACTLY happened. I guess this will serve as a catalyst for my own memory.
**DISCLAIMER: Some of you may relate to my experiences, but in no way or other should you replicate the situations mentioned here into your own lives as I will not bear responsibility if you get into the wrong side of the law or your parents’. This applies to people under the age of 21 who may be reading this blog as well as adults who have missed out and want to start experimenting.**
1. The worst thing anyone could have done….
..is beating up a parent. Especially if the parent is your mother. And I didn’t know what got into me, but I did it because I wanted to break free. I wanted to stay out really late, I wanted no control over my actions whatsoever. I wanted to do as I pleased. That was a few lame reasons but a 15 year old sure has a lot of rage.
And so I ended up running away from home, slept at a friend’s at night, and at a random guy’s house in the day when she went to school. One can only imagine the adventures I went through in this period of time. It was fun but I’d never do it again.
2. The hardest habit to kick…
..is drugs and alcohol. It was just a normal activity with the older crowd I used to hang out with when I was 16. AND doing it brought me to another place, way beyond anyone could ever understand. I remembered keeping a bottle of whiskey under my bed, wrapped in plastic, just so I could sleep peacefully. And as I got older, I brought some redbull and vodka to lectures to drink to iron out the nerves of starting work.
3. I could have gotten my hand chopped off..
.. but thank god, I have been safe. Stealing is another habit so hard to kick. I still have the thinking drilled into my head, ’Why pay for it if you can get it for free?’ It is a harmful thought, and now even though I have moolah I still go around stealing things. But most of the time the bf will stop me. I would steal anything and everything, food, drinks, newspapers, books, ice cream, clothes, accessories, friends’ money, cell phone… you name it! I love doing it, but I know someday, I have to stop for good. But then again if I were to become poor, this is def a skill to re-master for survival. Hee!
4. The most difficult concept to grasp is..
..learning to control my temper. I get angry at the littlest things, and because of my martial arts background (although menial) I dared to pick fights. A lot of people think I dare to meddle with such situations because of the ‘support’ I have. I belonged to a gang once (it was lame) but I didn’t really involve them in the little hiccups I have with other people. The last I did was punching a girl in her face, causing her lips or something to bleed, but that was because I was slapped in the first place, and yes it was my fault for calling her a slut. Oh wait, I did punch a guy til he was bleeding profusely from the nose. And I know I won’t be in trouble unless they file a magistrate’s complaint. But I think I’m slowly letting go of my temper cuz I don’t get bouts of anger attacks coming. I do throw things around once in a while. I do still want to feel meat on my fist, and that’s the sick part. (Shouldn’t I just get a punching bag or a pet cow, right?)
5. There is just one thing that I wish I could still do..
..and that is wanting to roam the streets late at night, and hanging out with my best friend who lived a few blocks away. EVERYDAY. We would hang out with different groups of people, went out with different guys everyday and did senseless things. All without a care in the world. We were so tight, we’d protect each other (although more of her protecting me), we’d do anything and everything together. It was ultimately thrilling to get into clubs when you are much younger than the age limit. All those drinking and smoking (there was no need to go look for smoking room) and dancing and getting to know so many people… the drunken stupors, the headaches and the tears, the pregnancy scares and fights… are really experiences one would only see in tv.
BUT THEN I HAD TO MOVE OUT. I guess my parents realised the neighbourhood wasn’t doing me any good and decided to move far, far away, and eventually the ‘ghetto’ life stopped its course.
Again, I stress that this is not an entry to tell the whole world what I’ve done or how 'cool' I am. Sometimes I realized that I act much too prissy now and forget where I’ve come from and what I’ve done. So this will serve as a constant reminder for me to not forget my roots as I am confident that bigger things will come my way soon. If you currently share the same predicament as I did in the past, it’s time to make a change. I’m not proud of where I am and what I am doing now, but at least I know I am not disappointing the ones I love dearly, as well as myself. I cannot emphasise further that education and humility is the only thing that will alleviate you from whatever sufferings you have (although not everything, but I assure you, most!). Earning respect through the things that you achieve is a definite esteem booster.
...and here's an old song i really enjoyed dancing to in Kreamz.. (+ 3 more in my playlist for now ;p)
I have about 2 months til I turn 24. And because it is June, I will always go through what I have achieved and reminisce where I came from.
I am def not proud of my past but constantly reminding myself of what happened and who I was keeps me from doing further harm to myself and those around me who I deeply love.
This brings me back to my teenage years, which I dearly missed. It was when dangerous experiments were conducted and when everything that was new and exciting belonged on illegal grounds. There is def too much to mention here, so I will generalize everything. At least, on my own, when I read through this entry I could probably remember what EXACTLY happened. I guess this will serve as a catalyst for my own memory.
**DISCLAIMER: Some of you may relate to my experiences, but in no way or other should you replicate the situations mentioned here into your own lives as I will not bear responsibility if you get into the wrong side of the law or your parents’. This applies to people under the age of 21 who may be reading this blog as well as adults who have missed out and want to start experimenting.**
1. The worst thing anyone could have done….
..is beating up a parent. Especially if the parent is your mother. And I didn’t know what got into me, but I did it because I wanted to break free. I wanted to stay out really late, I wanted no control over my actions whatsoever. I wanted to do as I pleased. That was a few lame reasons but a 15 year old sure has a lot of rage.
And so I ended up running away from home, slept at a friend’s at night, and at a random guy’s house in the day when she went to school. One can only imagine the adventures I went through in this period of time. It was fun but I’d never do it again.
2. The hardest habit to kick…
..is drugs and alcohol. It was just a normal activity with the older crowd I used to hang out with when I was 16. AND doing it brought me to another place, way beyond anyone could ever understand. I remembered keeping a bottle of whiskey under my bed, wrapped in plastic, just so I could sleep peacefully. And as I got older, I brought some redbull and vodka to lectures to drink to iron out the nerves of starting work.
3. I could have gotten my hand chopped off..
.. but thank god, I have been safe. Stealing is another habit so hard to kick. I still have the thinking drilled into my head, ’Why pay for it if you can get it for free?’ It is a harmful thought, and now even though I have moolah I still go around stealing things. But most of the time the bf will stop me. I would steal anything and everything, food, drinks, newspapers, books, ice cream, clothes, accessories, friends’ money, cell phone… you name it! I love doing it, but I know someday, I have to stop for good. But then again if I were to become poor, this is def a skill to re-master for survival. Hee!
4. The most difficult concept to grasp is..
..learning to control my temper. I get angry at the littlest things, and because of my martial arts background (although menial) I dared to pick fights. A lot of people think I dare to meddle with such situations because of the ‘support’ I have. I belonged to a gang once (it was lame) but I didn’t really involve them in the little hiccups I have with other people. The last I did was punching a girl in her face, causing her lips or something to bleed, but that was because I was slapped in the first place, and yes it was my fault for calling her a slut. Oh wait, I did punch a guy til he was bleeding profusely from the nose. And I know I won’t be in trouble unless they file a magistrate’s complaint. But I think I’m slowly letting go of my temper cuz I don’t get bouts of anger attacks coming. I do throw things around once in a while. I do still want to feel meat on my fist, and that’s the sick part. (Shouldn’t I just get a punching bag or a pet cow, right?)
5. There is just one thing that I wish I could still do..
..and that is wanting to roam the streets late at night, and hanging out with my best friend who lived a few blocks away. EVERYDAY. We would hang out with different groups of people, went out with different guys everyday and did senseless things. All without a care in the world. We were so tight, we’d protect each other (although more of her protecting me), we’d do anything and everything together. It was ultimately thrilling to get into clubs when you are much younger than the age limit. All those drinking and smoking (there was no need to go look for smoking room) and dancing and getting to know so many people… the drunken stupors, the headaches and the tears, the pregnancy scares and fights… are really experiences one would only see in tv.
BUT THEN I HAD TO MOVE OUT. I guess my parents realised the neighbourhood wasn’t doing me any good and decided to move far, far away, and eventually the ‘ghetto’ life stopped its course.
Again, I stress that this is not an entry to tell the whole world what I’ve done or how 'cool' I am. Sometimes I realized that I act much too prissy now and forget where I’ve come from and what I’ve done. So this will serve as a constant reminder for me to not forget my roots as I am confident that bigger things will come my way soon. If you currently share the same predicament as I did in the past, it’s time to make a change. I’m not proud of where I am and what I am doing now, but at least I know I am not disappointing the ones I love dearly, as well as myself. I cannot emphasise further that education and humility is the only thing that will alleviate you from whatever sufferings you have (although not everything, but I assure you, most!). Earning respect through the things that you achieve is a definite esteem booster.
...and here's an old song i really enjoyed dancing to in Kreamz.. (+ 3 more in my playlist for now ;p)
i need lots of acid.
i want those jeans! i checked out the price and it's way out of my budget.
so since i'm free ryt now i shall do some shredding and bleaching with an old pair of skinnies.
the grey one is TDF! i can imagine pairing mine (if i have one) with my prostituty black platform heels or the maroon suede open toe nine west heels. with some random loose fitting tee. if it gets cold den i'd have some use for my brown leather bomber.
the jackets are kewl too. but ryt now i dun haf any occassion to wear that!
pls wish me well so i can start wearing my heels and skinnies again! (my knee is bloody swollen!)
and inspire you guys with some pics! boo hoo.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Mish Mashed
my mind is all over today!
i'm supposed to be on vacation but i'm recuperating at hm. fyi, i just had an arthroscopy on my knee and have to be on crutches for like, 5 weeks! all becuz of a meniscus tear from nearly falling on the stairs as i was wearing high heels.
and while watching 'the city' i left with the impression that NY is the malaysia of n. america! nearly all the guys sport heavy beards and moustaches! and this series is not about the random hobo hiding out in a pile of garbage, but the so called 'it' group. they are SNHRN! ew ew ew
and my low blood pressure has been hitting me these few days. and those who noe me, i eat, like, a hell lot!
ugh. and i'm thinking and complaining like a spoilt brat again. which is not what i want to portray myself as in here.
i will talk about more serious issues. promise.
i'm supposed to be on vacation but i'm recuperating at hm. fyi, i just had an arthroscopy on my knee and have to be on crutches for like, 5 weeks! all becuz of a meniscus tear from nearly falling on the stairs as i was wearing high heels.
and while watching 'the city' i left with the impression that NY is the malaysia of n. america! nearly all the guys sport heavy beards and moustaches! and this series is not about the random hobo hiding out in a pile of garbage, but the so called 'it' group. they are SNHRN! ew ew ew
and my low blood pressure has been hitting me these few days. and those who noe me, i eat, like, a hell lot!
ugh. and i'm thinking and complaining like a spoilt brat again. which is not what i want to portray myself as in here.
i will talk about more serious issues. promise.
A little something to lighten hearts...
This video cracks me up at 1:49. Can't believe that this song was a chart topper in the past.
And I watch this everytime I'm bored. Again and Again.
uhhhh
hello hello?
this blog was started with a few purposes:
1. fill in the void as i am on house arrest (kidding, just merely injured & in need of crutches to move)
2. to record life's events due to poor memory
3. to serve the fashion community
4. as a platform to sell random stuff whenever i need cash (cuz i believe, for this mo, that money brings power)
i myt be able to serve as fodder for you bloghoppers, but if you happen to feel the need to slam me becuz of my thoughts and decisions, then simply navigate away and don't come back.
Cuz if you do make a return trip here, then, like GG says, you know you love me. And I'd say 'You know you want to be me.'
Enjoy!
this blog was started with a few purposes:
1. fill in the void as i am on house arrest (kidding, just merely injured & in need of crutches to move)
2. to record life's events due to poor memory
3. to serve the fashion community
4. as a platform to sell random stuff whenever i need cash (cuz i believe, for this mo, that money brings power)
i myt be able to serve as fodder for you bloghoppers, but if you happen to feel the need to slam me becuz of my thoughts and decisions, then simply navigate away and don't come back.
Cuz if you do make a return trip here, then, like GG says, you know you love me. And I'd say 'You know you want to be me.'
Enjoy!
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