i'm losing my mind...
why is it only now that i realised i have allowed myself, time and time again, to be bound by regulations that i cannot ever seem to abide by? i believe in possessing a free-spirited nature, and yet...
regulations i can break, but over time, as etiquette develops, i get stuck. my mind is an abyss, and i keep on falling. abstemiousness keep me from thinking straight.
and i'm losing it all...
when my heart and my mind is at war, my soul dies. i now cannot see who i am, i now cannot see my purpose. the solution is uncertain, will it provide permanent relief?
..love should make one excited about life, excited about waking up to see a new day..
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Monday, October 26, 2009
Monday's a Bitch
It's 4.50pm and I'm still at work. Apparently I didnt pray hard enough. I take back what I said on the previous post. **Multiple Expletives**
The Big Distraction
I'm far more relaxed now at work, with the term ending in 4 days time. Which ultimately means I am in holiday mood already, again.
I have nothing much to do except for organising an arts fest and art exhibition, as well as doing some designs for the student handbook 2010. Which I have done, took me a couple of hours for a set of 4! I am holding back these works to throw the person whom i'm supposed to submit it into an extreme state of anxiety. That means i get the chance to play god. Bow down, bitch!
It's so chillaxed here, which is definitely a first! Today is the first day that I feel like I do not feel the need for any form of intoxication, music's enough to do the deed. Although today is a Monday, I'm loving it. I'm praying hard for nothing or noone to screw this up.
The Big Distraction, however, is the honey bees. Bluergh.
I have nothing much to do except for organising an arts fest and art exhibition, as well as doing some designs for the student handbook 2010. Which I have done, took me a couple of hours for a set of 4! I am holding back these works to throw the person whom i'm supposed to submit it into an extreme state of anxiety. That means i get the chance to play god. Bow down, bitch!
It's so chillaxed here, which is definitely a first! Today is the first day that I feel like I do not feel the need for any form of intoxication, music's enough to do the deed. Although today is a Monday, I'm loving it. I'm praying hard for nothing or noone to screw this up.
The Big Distraction, however, is the honey bees. Bluergh.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Happily ever after
...means going far, far away alone, and never to come back.
But not until I finish my business here, and that is to injure some idiots for therapeutic relief. To board a flight with a clean slate, to start life anew, and to feel meat on my palms and my fist.
You better watch out.
But not until I finish my business here, and that is to injure some idiots for therapeutic relief. To board a flight with a clean slate, to start life anew, and to feel meat on my palms and my fist.
You better watch out.
The wearing of pants.
I currently have the mindset of a percentage 30 year old males.
After a long, hard, hot and tiring day at work, all I want to do is go back home into the arms of my wife and have her feed me food that she cooked.
And watch tv in bed with her by my side while eating ice cream and chocolates.
And start the next day with seeing her first thing in the morning.
I skipped the sex part cuz if I were a guy, I wouldnt make that a necessity. Ok, maybe it's because I don't have a penis to start with so I don't really understand what it's like to NOT make that a necessity.
Anyway, I went back on my words, on what I said to a few people years ago. Honestly no one can be really ready at 21.
I hate ageing, I hate the need for humans to find equilibrium in another human being.
I hate that I feel like I need a stay home wife - someone who is not highly educated, someone who won't question where I've been and what I did and how was my day. Someone who can cook, wash, and clean. And clean up nicely to boot.
Homo alert! Til later.
P.S Can anyone explain my need for a stupid wife? hahrhahr.
After a long, hard, hot and tiring day at work, all I want to do is go back home into the arms of my wife and have her feed me food that she cooked.
And watch tv in bed with her by my side while eating ice cream and chocolates.
And start the next day with seeing her first thing in the morning.
I skipped the sex part cuz if I were a guy, I wouldnt make that a necessity. Ok, maybe it's because I don't have a penis to start with so I don't really understand what it's like to NOT make that a necessity.
Anyway, I went back on my words, on what I said to a few people years ago. Honestly no one can be really ready at 21.
I hate ageing, I hate the need for humans to find equilibrium in another human being.
I hate that I feel like I need a stay home wife - someone who is not highly educated, someone who won't question where I've been and what I did and how was my day. Someone who can cook, wash, and clean. And clean up nicely to boot.
Homo alert! Til later.
P.S Can anyone explain my need for a stupid wife? hahrhahr.
Saturday, October 3, 2009
And the world goes round....
The word 'world' here is short for worldly, or worldly-wise. I am going to put the limelight on some characters I know who, I observe, seems to know and experienced everything. It's definitely awesome if you know everything and that knowledge you have can be supported by evidence or someone who can ascertain your claims.
We can choose to ignore, yes?
But I sometimes wonder why there is such a need of these people to exist, and around me of all places. Why do these people have to talk worldly of themselves?
All it seems to me is the attention that they crave for. Why else would anyone want to talk 'world' right? If you want people to be in awe of you, then do something before talking about anything. If you want notoriety, then prove it. If you want to be exceptional, then gain it. If you want to be legendary, then earn it.
These people, from my observations, have never acquired success in their lives that it translates to bullshitting of knowledge and facts to others and faking experiences just so. And these people are the same people who would pass judgement without understanding first.
These traits are evident in some people, whereas others almost had me fooled.
And these people almost always have no friends. Though it could be the opposite, I noticed, especially if the 'worldly person' has significant value to the manipulative, being easily exploited so that 'friends' are always around him or her. These people are easily swindled for money, free rides and favours. And all the engineer has to do is listen and nod to his or her worldly claims.
It can be quite an amusing show to watch if you have all these people around you actually.
So, do you have a worldly friend? You do? Oh good! That friend will be easy to manipulate, just say that he or she is awesome and he or she will grant you your wishes!
Oh, and do visit my Nonsense! Nonsense! Art site. Definitely no worldly shit or hurtful things in there.
We can choose to ignore, yes?
But I sometimes wonder why there is such a need of these people to exist, and around me of all places. Why do these people have to talk worldly of themselves?
All it seems to me is the attention that they crave for. Why else would anyone want to talk 'world' right? If you want people to be in awe of you, then do something before talking about anything. If you want notoriety, then prove it. If you want to be exceptional, then gain it. If you want to be legendary, then earn it.
These people, from my observations, have never acquired success in their lives that it translates to bullshitting of knowledge and facts to others and faking experiences just so. And these people are the same people who would pass judgement without understanding first.
These traits are evident in some people, whereas others almost had me fooled.
And these people almost always have no friends. Though it could be the opposite, I noticed, especially if the 'worldly person' has significant value to the manipulative, being easily exploited so that 'friends' are always around him or her. These people are easily swindled for money, free rides and favours. And all the engineer has to do is listen and nod to his or her worldly claims.
It can be quite an amusing show to watch if you have all these people around you actually.
So, do you have a worldly friend? You do? Oh good! That friend will be easy to manipulate, just say that he or she is awesome and he or she will grant you your wishes!
Oh, and do visit my Nonsense! Nonsense! Art site. Definitely no worldly shit or hurtful things in there.
Friday, October 2, 2009
A Slut Yet?
Things are getting a tad too personal here... i have kinda gone off course in the objectives of starting this blog.
I have a new one, and it's a portfolio of my works, sources of inspiration and musings about art.
If you have a similar blog to that of mine, link up! Glory Glory Arts Community! (lame i noe, so shut up.)
The link:
http://slugslut.blogspot.com/
I have a new one, and it's a portfolio of my works, sources of inspiration and musings about art.
If you have a similar blog to that of mine, link up! Glory Glory Arts Community! (lame i noe, so shut up.)
The link:
http://slugslut.blogspot.com/
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